wedding ceremony opening words funny

To give ourselves in love is not to give ourselves away. It does not rejoice in the wrong, but rejoices in the right. ", "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. The way I see it, marriage is like my old car.When I bought it new from the dealership,everyone around me was saying; Wow thats a nice car!It was all bright and shiny and worthy of admiration.And then as the years went bythere were places where the paint was starting to peel off.It got a little dent and a scratch or two here and thereand once it was over a decade oldPeople started saying; Why are you still driving that old thing?But my car ran like a top and would never leave me high and dry.Every time something sounded a little off, or needed attention,I got to work on it and fixed whatever needed fixing immediately,knowing that you get what you give.And then, when she became a classic,it was off to the body shop she went for a new paint job.People once again began saying; Wow, thats a really nice car!But what they didnt know was that all the things that really matter,were always things that nobody could see from the outside.A marriage is like my old car.Its the maintenance you do between the high of the wedding day,and gaining the admiration your grandchildrenby being the couple who still laughs and shares secrets,and still holds hands after all these years.So dont worry so much about what people think or say.Just do your oil changes, keep up with your maintenance,get out and have fun,dont be afraid to blow the dust off now and then,and fix whatever breaks as soon as it happens.This is my advice for a marriagethat will motor successfully on down the highway of life. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that you are surrounded by my enduring love. No, he said, I want you to tell me exactly where it will go.. To remain in marriage we must continually renew our will to be married. You've found your opening line - now what? Most of the time I'm standing up there with the groom and his groomsmen for these first words. Friends, we are gathered here at this hour to celebrate the marriage of these two individuals. During the Invocation, the officiant greets the guests, introduces the couple, and announces the purpose of the gathering. For them, out of the routine of ordinary life, the extraordinary has happened. ", "Hi everyone, I'm (name), and I'll be your speaker for the next 95 minutes. However, this day is not about the words spoken or the rings exchanged, nor is it about grand pronouncements and recessional marches. If you are getting married in a church, your wedding is a church service. Love is one of the highest experiences that we human beings can have and it can add depth of meaning to our lives. 2. To see with loving eyes, is to know inner beauty. When I was preparing this speech, (name) gave me a list of topics that were strictly off-limits, so I'd like to start with those. But we all know that sometimes married life can reveal hidden aspects to your spouses personality. And with this ring, I take you as my Husband/Wife, for as long as we both shall live. Those brushstrokes in the corner of this magnificent mural, those are mine. Looking for ministry supplies and credentials? Love me when I'm old and shockingPeel off my elastic stockingsSwing me from the chandeliersLet's be randy bad old dears.Push around my chromed Bath ChairLet me tease your white chest hairScaring children, swapping denturesLet us have some great adventures.Take me to your special placesWatching all the puzzled facesYou in shorts and socks and sandalsMe with warts and huge love-handles.As the need for loveenthrallsWrestle with my damp proof smallsMake me laugh without constraintBuy me chocolate body paint.Hold me safe throughout the nightWhen my hair has turned to whiteBelieve me when I say it's trueI've waited all my life for you. Marital love is like the seasons of our hearts. These are the first words an officiant says during a ceremony and immediately follow the procession. . Mildy Religious Wedding Ceremony. Some of our wedding speech opening lines can be customised, too, to help you make your speech even more personal. It will take trust, to know, that in your hearts, you truly want what is best for each other. Visit the Ceremony Script Library! Were here to hope with you, to support you, to be proud of you, and to remind you that love isnt happily ever after, love is the experience of writing your story. I will love you in sickness and in health, as long as you take care of the vet visits. Although this is their day, it is also a tribute to all of you. The wedding ring, The Engagement ring, and the suffering. [I do.] Each one of you is an important piece in the story it tells. This celebration is but an outward sign of an inward union of heart, mind and spirit. We welcome all of you here today as we have gathered together in the presence of God and these witnesses to join GROOM and BRIDEin holy matrimony. For BRIDE and GROOM, you are these people. ", "Hello everyone. This way, when clouds of trouble hide the sun in your lives and you lose sight of it for a moment, you can remember that the sun is still there. I GROOM/BRIDE, take thee, GROOM/BRIDE to be my Husband/Wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow, and I promise My love to you. Super Simple (and Short) Civil Ceremony. We are gathered here today to unite BRIDE and GROOMin marriage. Friends and family, I now present to you the newly married couple. Invocations can be religious, non-religious, funny, heartwarming, formal, offbeat and quirky, and anything in between. Wine Box Ceremony: A newer tradition, the couple write love letters to one another and seal them in a wine box with a bottle of wine, opening the box on their first or fifth wedding anniversary to read one another's letters and share the bottle of wine to celebrate their marriage. We have come together families and friends to witness BRIDE and GROOM as they exchange their vows of marriage. And a time to look ahead to all the moments that are still to come. One, who loves us, gives us a unique gift: a piece of ourselves, but a piece that only they could give us. Dearly beloved, we have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. If you're the bride or groom, a best man or maid of honor, or merely a friend or family who can't pass up the opportunity to express your heart and soul, the finest present you can offer to any wedding ceremony is a well-rehearsed marriage speech that is lighthearted, joyful, and cheerful. The traditional wedding ceremony script template is well maintained. It is risking who we are for the sake of who we can be. We are gathered here today to celebrate one of lifes greatest moments, the joining of two hearts. For every thing there is a season and a time for every purpose under Heaven. 25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches Note: [Name] can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party! Become a Wedding Officiant with Our Free Online Ordination! Yet the problem lies in creating the perfect funny wedding script without resorting to dark humor. Theyve come to see marriage not as some elaborate codified institution, but as a simple and transcendent spiritual bond. They bring the spark and spirit which is uniquely their own, and out of which has grown for some time, and will continue to grow, deepen, and strengthen, the precious reality of their life together. Marriage has been described as living in love with your best friend. We make plans and they dont necessarily turn out the way we envisioned, but somehow life happens, and shapes and molds us to be better than we are. Throw the stick.. One that is brief and straight to the point, yet humorous enough that it will keep the guests laughing and attentive. Some are yet unwritten, while others are just getting to the good part. "I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you're hoteven if I'm totally freezing." "I promise not to force you to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon." "I'm so happy I accepted your rose." "I vow to love you even when you're old and still playing Xbox". If the couple opts for the traditional vows, you'll conduct those. Thank you for joining us on this day of gladness and good fortune. Your wedding rings are special; they enhance who you are. So, it may be necessary to introduce a funny green wedding ceremony script for a change. It'll make . The regular traditional and religious wedding script has a skeleton that serves as guidelines. Marriage is like a great umbrella that shelters love from the elements. We gather here today to witness and celebrate an act of deep love. We are gathered here in this beautiful place to join together this man, GROOM, and this woman, BRIDE, in marriage a state instituted in love, occasioned by joy. The groom says: I, (Name), take you, (Name), to be my wife. Need inspiration? Every step of the way, the student spoke anxiously of the impending choices that filled his mind with confusion. VOWS. All of us here today have our own love stories. But trying to describe love is one of our favorite pastimes. I wish I could tell you a single story about NAME and NAME that summarizes their relationship and how they enrich each others lives, and the lives of each of us, but the truth is there isnt one single event that is a good encapsulation of what they mean to me, to each other and all of us. Its a statement about the occasion, its importance, the significance to the world as well as the couple getting married. For instance "I honor you with this ring as a sign of my love" Deep knowledge of another is not something that can be achieved in a short time and real understanding of the other can develop fully only after years of intimacy. Daniel and Sara, please join hands, look at one another now and remember this moment in time. Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him/her, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him/her forevermore? Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness, and kindness that your marriage deserves. We use the words we have to write stories, and poems, and songs about love. A Civil Ceremony - Short and Powerful. We are here on this magnificent and beautiful day to celebrate one of lifes greatest momentswe are all present to give recognition to the worth and beauty of loveand to publicly witness the marriage bond that BRIDE and GROOM have been creating inwardly. There are chapters in all of our stories that are sad or disappointing and others that are exciting and full of adventure. ", "Hello everybody and welcome. The secret of love and marriage is to be in love and in trust, to know in your hearts that you want only the best for each other. Bonus! When it comes to structuring a funny wedding speech, Marc advises: "Think of the main part of the speech as the cake and the quotation as the cherry on top. Aware that there is one Presence and Power, and that we are each part of that Divine unity, we join in blessing BRIDE and GROOM as they bring their hands together in Namaste. It takes dedication, to stay open to one another, to learn and grow, even when it is difficult to do so. To be loved is to be seen, and known, as we are known to no other. The regular Weve asked you here today to join us in this most spectacular of moments, as Tabitha and Charlie do something big, something powerful, something theyve been threatening to do for years -- theyre finally getting hitched! With this ring, I thee wed. Officiant: To make your relationship work will take love. If youve had the fortune that I have, you have witnessed _______ and _______ meet, from a rom-com worthy friendship to falling deeply in love. "The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making . And if you're writing your own vows, you'd have to prepare a wedding ceremony script with vows. Here's how to get started. ", "Hi everyone, I'm (name), and I'd like to begin my speech with a quote from the great Seamus Heaney/Maya Angelou/Rev. Thank you all for joining us and being a part of their love story. I wanna be your vacuum cleanerBreathing in your dustI wanna be your Ford CortinaI will never rustIf you like your coffee hotLet me be your coffee potYou call the shotsI wanna be yoursI wanna be your raincoatFor those frequent rainy daysI wanna be your dreamboatWhen you want to sail awayLet me be your teddy bearTake me with you anywhereI don't careI wanna be yoursI wanna be your electric meterI will not run outI wanna be the electric heaterYou'll get cold withoutI wanna be your setting lotionHold your hair in deep devotionDeep as the deep Atlantic OceanThat's how deep is my devotion. I do. You may know me as (name's friend/relative), but tonight, I go by the title, (name), Lord of the Dance. Grow, sometimes together, sometimes separately. BRIDE and GROOMcame together from different backgrounds and experiences. A word on Opening Remarks So, usually, the above part happens - the "first thing we say to start the wedding ceremony" - before the processional where the person getting married comes down the aisle after his/her wedding party. Love is the magic that has brought BRIDE and GROOM together and through that magic, we are joining them today. Thank you all for being here on such an exciting night. They stood side by side, watching the water. But now they wish to extend that joy in a new affirmation, based not upon what they hope the future years will bring, but on what the past has already brought them and what they know of their future together. And NAME, please place the ring on NAMEs left hand and repeat after me: And this is worth remembering as we consider what this day is all about. Ill be there, my darling, through thick and through thinWhen your minds in a mess and your heads in a spinWhen your planes been delayed, and youve missed the last train.When life is just threatening to drive you insaneWhen your thrilling whodunit has lost its last pageWhen somebody tells you, youre looking your ageWhen your coffees too cool, and your wine is too warmWhen the forecast said, Fine, but youre out in a stormWhen your quick break hotel, turns into a slumAnd your holiday photos show only your thumbWhen you park for five minutes in a residents bayAnd return to discover youve been towed awayWhen the jeans that you bought in hope or in hasteJust stick on your hips and dont reach round your waistWhen the food you most like brings you out in red rashesWhen as soon as you boot up the bloody thing crashesSo my darling, my sweetheart, my dearWhen you break a rule, when you act the foolWhen youve got the flu, when youre in a stewWhen youre last in the queue, dont feel bluecause Im telling you, Ill be there. Opening Words and Introduction Chuppah Ceremony Prayers and Blessings Blessing to the Four Directions Handfasting Ceremony Giving Away the Bride Those With Us In Spirit Readings, Poems Hands Ceremony Declaration of Consent (I Dos) Mothers Rose Ceremony Introduction to the Exchange of Vows Exchange of Wedding Vows Ring Warming Ceremony Introduction to the Exchange of Rings Exchange of Wedding Rings Blessing of the Rings Family Medallion Ceremony Seven Blessings Veil, Cord, Coins Jumping the Broom Wine Ceremony Unity Candle Ceremony Sand Ceremony Unity Canvas Painting Ceremony Rose/Flower Ceremony Quaich Ceremony Affirmation of the Community Love Letter and Wine Box Ceremony Bride and Groom Thank You Blessing of the Marriage Pronouncement of Marriage Ribbons, Doves, Butterflies & Bubbles Breaking the Glass Presentation of Couple. That is why we are all here today, to witness and celebrate Bride and Grooms commitment to their union. Opening Words and Introduction 1 Friends and Family of the BRIDE and GROOM, welcome and thank you for being here on this important day. Light-hearted song lyrics to make everyone smile. Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him/her, and be faithful to him/her? That's a Homer Simpson quote, which should give you an idea of the caliber of speech you can expect from me tonight., Photo by Paula Gillespie Photography via One Fab Day, "Hello everyone, I'm (name.) Go forth and live each day to the fullest. But in the mean time, I suppose I should talk a little bit about (couple names). May each of you achieve the ability to give of yourselves freely so that you will each live better life and become greater persons. You might wish to use a funny quotation for each main section e.g. While you're thinking about including this quote in your speech, take a look at the . It is the fabric that they wrap around themselves and take comfort in when the world seems cold. To see with loving eyes, is to know inner beauty. Recessional. Love is our purpose in being here; it is the essence of who we are. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, bit reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God. The important thing, said the master, is to throw the stick!. And on days like today when everything is right in their world, that tapestry is proudly spread out and displayed for everyone to see, with all the glorious colors and textures that your diversity adds. What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, and your friendships? Invocation Welcome family and friends. We hope the latter can be held to a minimum. We have been invited here today to witness and celebrate the uniting in marriage of BRIDE and GROOM. I think we can all agree that it's been a wonderful day so far. This new journey will be at times richly rewarding and extremely difficult, but, most importantly, it will be a journey you take together. Tomorrow will be different from today, and so marriages too change from day to day, year to year. Once you have some insight into the couples relationship and an idea of their style, spend time looking at sample scripts and wedding templates online. Sara, I take you as you are/ loving who you are / I promise from this day forward/ To fill our lives with adventure and our home with laughter/ To inspire you to grow as an individual / To love you completely/ I will laugh with you and cry with you. But about X years ago s/he met NAME, who is pretty wonderful, too. As these two people have come together before, pledging everlasting love, so we are gathered together today to once again join this woman and this man in holy matrimony. When we love, we see things other people do not see. I hope you're all having a great night so far. BRIDE, GROOMand their families extend a warm welcome to all of you. There are 3 rings of marriage. Just in case you don't already know, I'm (name) and I'm the best man. Officiant: Daniel, please take Saras hand and repeat after me. There was a light in her eyes that Id never seen before. These two have known they were destined for each other from day one, and have continued to grow together for over a decade, through joyful moments and mourning, a unified front in a sometimes uncertain world. Think of them with appreciation and gratitude. We who love, can look at each others life and say, I touched his life, or, I touched her life, just as an artist might say, I touched this canvas., Those brushstrokes in the comer of this magnificent mural, those are mine. Do you promise to love her even when she is cranky? Over the past (x) years, I've had the pleasure of watching (name) fall in love with (name) over and over again.". Not only do BRIDE and GROOM love one another romantically and they do, you can see it in every look, every touch, every moment theyre together they also love one another as friends. Most of the time I'm standing up there with the groom and his groomsmen for these first words. Officiant: And now by the power vested in me by _______________, it is my honor and delight to declare you married. Together you will laugh and cry, be sick and well, be happy and angry, share and grow. Only the two of you will know what marriage exists between you the outer forms are only signs and covers over the love of your hearts. We wish that you will find together, a richness beyond the wealth of money a depth of soul that will make beautiful everything you do in life, both separately and together. Marriage is an act of faith and a personal commitment as well as a moral and physical union between the parties. I am so pleased to present the newlyweds, NAMES. Because despite all of our differences, love is what we all share. Note: (name) can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the wedding party. Check out our free ceremony scripts! Today we have come together to witness the joining of these two lives. RINGS. But today we celebrate with BRIDE and GROOM as they make theirs: a pledge to and for each other, not as individuals, but as two that are choosing to become one. We are gathered together to celebrate the very special love between BRIDE and GROOM, by joining them in marriage. Youre standing in front of a crowd of well-dressed guests, about to perform your very first wedding ceremony. Let us all give our blessing and love to BRIDE and GROOM during this ceremony as they pledge their love to one another. May your hearts be glad and your spirits be light. They are taking the first step of their new beginning; their new life together. First, I'd like to begin by welcoming everyone and thanking every one of you for being here on this happiest of days. We discover the truest guideline to our quest when we realize love in all its magnitudes. _______ and _______ also wanted to thank _______ and _______, who are sitting in the front row, for blessing this union and always being an example of unconditional, pure love. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life. The day-to-day companionship, the pleasure of doing things together or in exchanging individual experiences, is a continuous and central part of what two people who love each other can share. I've got a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity that I know you're going to - sorry, wrong speech! I, take you (insert fiancs name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for even poorer when Ive been shopping, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part., In front of our friends and family gathered here, I promise to love and cherish you in good times and in bad. It will take faith, to go forward together without knowing exactly what the future brings. The principles and sentiments expressed today will be very familiar to you all. With this ring, I thee wed. This wedding ceremony comes from APW reader Alia. That I have chosen you There's no need to complicate itDress it up or overstate itWithout too much hesitationHere's the way I feelWell, I like you, I like youEven when I don't try toYes I do, that's the truthI like you. Mutual love is one of the richest experiences and most precious gifts we know. Humor sits best within your officiant address, wedding readings, your vows, and presentation of the couple. Guests get bored and begin to zone out or do other things that take their attention off the ceremony happening. I require and charge you both, here in the presence of God, that if either of you know any reason shy you may not be united in marriage lawfully, and in accordance with Gods Word, you do now confess it. Our premiere package contains everyting you need to officiate like a pro. They promise to embrace conflict as well as peace; to work as well as play; to struggle as well as coast; to give as well as receive; and to be with, stay with, and move toward one another. May all of us present feel the strength and depth BRIDE and GROOMs love and experience a rebirth of the power of love in our own lives. Marriage is much more than your signatures on a legal contract. . They are not a destination, but a journey.

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