dirty golf quotes

I just got a call my wife has had a life threatening car accident and Im worried I might not make it.. clubs. How many strokes was that? You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play where it lies." Bobby Jones 23. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". Noah. We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. Wodehouse, 31. The friend is quite amazed: That dog is really talented! My shaft is bent. If you think youre standing too close to the ball, make sure youve actually struck it with your club after swinging. Here, have a carrot! now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); fodrizzle. When your golf cart capsizes. A man without a woman is like a pistol without a trigger; it is the woman who makes the man go off. Is the word spelled P-U-T or P-U-T-T? She asked her instructor. Achieve more with each and every round you play. Lorii Myers, Perhaps more than any other sport, golf focuses pressure on the player. P. G. Wodehouse, The difference between a good golf shot and a bad one is the same as the difference between a beautiful and a plain woman a matter of millimeters. And there are windmills. Henry Beard, Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at. And maybe that same element inspires the poets, writers and artists to pay homage to golfor at least lament its cruelty. One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. Ben Hogan, Golf has some drawbacks. I like big putts and I cannot lie. Hey would you like what you're hiding in your tight jeans to be the 34th ranked golfer in the world because I can make that V-jay sing? Achieve more with each and every round you play.Go Premium to et full access to our most advanced on-course and improvement features. As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. Ben Hogan, 25. Ted Ray, I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. Because I'm going to come after you aggressively and probably leave a ball mark. Wash your balls. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. / It is a gait he only knows / When he has on his golfing clothes. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" Were done with golf puns and jokes, but well leave you with a bonus the top 10 not actually dirty golf innuendos: What are some of your favorite golf puns? Golf is a game where the ball lies like crap, but the player lies like a pro. You get bad breaks from good shots, good breaks from bad shots but you have to play where it lies. Bobby Jones, 23. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. Golf Skirts & Golf Skorts Stylish, Fun & Comfortable. Fear comes in two packages fear of failure, and sometimes, fear of success. Tom Kite, 21. Please read here for more information. Youre shooting for the green, and yet, in the end you find yourself in the hole. A man got on a bus with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls. A guy will spend 10 minutes trying to find his lost golf ball. I chipped in from the rough! Hey babycan you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose? Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? Chip Shot. Steve Alten, Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. Jeff Foxworthy, In order to develop a golf swing, your thoughts must run in the right direction. In your approach to golf, no one can tell you what to do. Nuts! How I Lost Weight Playing Golf & Other Golf Benefits, Golf And Fitness Tips from a TPI Golf Fitness Instructor, How to Improve Your Handicap and Golf Game, How To Know What Golf Club to Use on the Golf Course, Goal Setting is a Great Way to Improving Your Golf Game, Best Putters for Women 2023 Find the Best Ladies Putters, Black Friday and Cyber Monday Golf Discounts. I'm hoping to be a sore loser." Related: Best Ways On How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text? 3. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.". Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver! It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! The 18 Best Golf Movies You Need To Watch In 2023, Top 14 Golf Podcasts You Should Listen To (Updated 2023), 7 Left Handed Golf Tips To Crush The Competition, 50 Side-Splitting Golf Puns & Jokes For Any Situation, Practicing Golf At Home: 10 Tricks To Improve Your Game. And maybe thats why the highs were so high and the lows felt so low. Henry Beard, Like clubs inside my golf bag / each verse a different face / Some to drive straight down the course / others lift and then embrace. Your competitors are not allowed to hinder you, as they are in other sports. Their expectation, however, is very different. Watch their eyes. Dave Barry, If you drink, dont drive. I have always had a drive that pushed me to try for perfection, and golf is a game that perfection stays just out of reach. Betsy Rawls, 12. The guys who come I'm a bit tired, so can we just play your backside tonight? She lined the ball up carefully and confidently stroked the winning putt. George Deukmejian waxing prophetic. All through the night they made wild love together. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. A fan in the crowd said Mr. 3. What are a golfers favorite flowers? 1. Go to the golf course. "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. My drives aren't always long and straight. "Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church." brockoli117 on Reddit.com. Always keep learning. If you dont take it seriously, its no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. A little girl was at her first golf lesson when she asked a question. In case he gets a hole in one. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? All lip, no hole. Two rounds a day are plenty. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you. The little dog starts to yip and stands up on its hind legs. putt." A good golfer has the determination to win and the patience to wait for the breaks. Gary Player, 53. Very interesting. The most redundant thing on a golf course is a ball-washer on a hole with water hazards. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. I love you and I want you to stay with me., Woman: You dont understandIm a hooker., Man: That is no problem, darlin, you probably just have too strong a grip.. Whats the difference between a golf ball and a car? nay I my child, and eke, oh! The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. In the Golf of Mexico! Which course gives Tiger Woods the most trouble? Missed the ball and sank the divot. Henny Youngman, Go play golf. What did Master Yoda say when Luke sliced the ball onto the next fairway over? Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Correct one fault at a time. 2. - Bobby Jones Whos there? Leslie Nielsen, Mini-golf is a lot like life. Dont even putt. Spread your legs shoulder width, that's the first step to a successful golf swing. What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? Robert Fuller Murray, I am relying on the theory that playing golf is just like riding a bike and that I havent forgotten how. Why did Arnold Palmer get beat up? Boo who? Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. Nothing. Your email address will not be published. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." What's the difference between a golf ball and a car? Billy Graham, Show me a man who is a good loser and Ill show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. Dirt your body. Robert Fuller Murray, Be a mind beater-not a ball beater. Do you know why the game is called golf? When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. Without trust, it feels like you and your golf club are on opposite sides of a tug-of-war. Dr. Joseph Parent, 9. Golf tips are like Aspirin: One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle youll be lucky to survive. Harvey Penick, 17. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. "If everything was given to you, it wouldn't feel as good when you achieve it." Annika Sorenstam 24. I know what to look for. "If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.". We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. 4. What is the difference between Rory McIlroy and Princess Diana? If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the . The next minute youre painting the Mona Lisa.. Mini Golf Captions. Perhaps it's the depth of (often negative) emotion the average golfer feels as a result of the game that inspires him to wax poetic. Well, I bet that these Knock Knock Golf Jokes can knock you up in the ground laughing! I bet that hurts a whole lot worse than tennis elbow?. Golf turns outdoors into indoors, a prefab mat of stultified grass, processed, pesticided, herbicided, the pseudo-green of formica sterilityThe enemy of wildness, it is a demonstration of the absolute dominion of man over wild nature. Your email address will not be published. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Use these pick up lines to your advantage in starting a chat with your guy or girl. Your source for the latest and greatest golf news, tips, gear reviews, and giveaways. Jim Bishop, I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I stepped on a rake.". Lee Trevino. To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Keep your head down. Paul Harvey, While playing golf today I hit two good balls. How many does he do?, Man: Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass.. If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. It's not the size of your putter that counts, its how many strokes you take. Whats a golfers favorite nightlife activity? Why do golfers hate cake? Don Adams, Theres an old saying in golf that when the wind blows the men are separated from the boys. 7. Bobby Darnel, If you want to hook a ball turn both hands toward the right side on the grip or shaft. How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? Weve all been humbled by this game and have learned that a sense of humor can be the most important club in the bag. No matter the distance, its through that tall tree over there. The pressure originates in yourself; it builds from doubts. Whats one tip all golfers should follow to improve their game?

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